Hi, I’m Stephanie.
I’m a writer, writing coach, and Gatherer-in-Chief at The Writers’ Cottage, a cozy, supportive online community for female-identifying writers.
Here are a few more things about me:
I believe deeply in the power of stories.
I’m an introvert, a Pisces, and a stubborn Enneagram 6.
I value compassion, belonging, and wholeheartedness.
I’m wildly organized, but not particularly tidy.
I love to be in, on, or next to the water as much as possible.
And if something calls you to write, I’m 100% in your corner. Always.
When I was 8, I wrote a story for my grandfather titled Why Grandpas Are Special. It was about a little girl’s grandfather who bought her a pony (and kept it in his yard, of course, since hers was too small). And she loved him SO, SO much.
I handed him the story bound in red construction paper, rolled and tied with a ribbon. He read it aloud like a kindergarten teacher to his class, all the while laughing and wiping away tears.
It was thrilling to have a story created in my imagination received so emotionally by my ideal audience, and even though I didn’t get a pony out of the deal, that feeling has long stayed with me. I decided then to be An Author.
I had other interests too, one of which was working with children. Life lead me to teaching in public education, where – shocker! – my favorite subject was writing. Coaching students from second grade through college to generate an idea and see it come alive on the page was so satisfying. I saw many of them go from deeply doubting their ability to write to seeing themselves as writers.
I also founded a nonprofit creative writing program for kids and teens in my community. For six years, we offered free workshops, teen writing conferences, and one-on-one support to local young writers with volunteer adult writers.
All talk, no write.
The problem was that I didn’t believe in myself as a writer. I thought I was too busy, too distracted, too unmotivated to ever make my dream a reality. I thought I was unqualified, untrained, unlikely to ever get published.
(Sound familiar? It is such common self-talk among creatives. But there is a way out.)
Time to make the slo-o-ow shift.
Finally I decided that it wasn’t enough that I wanted to write. I realized that if I was going to be a writer, I needed to be willing to believe in myself and my ideas. And the only way I was going to do that was to learn how to manage my own self-doubt.
I needed to follow the advice I’d been giving my students for years. To help myself sit with the doubt and fear and put words on the page in an intentional way. I needed to learn how to revise my thinking and my expectations.
So I did that work for myself. It didn’t happen overnight; in fact, it’s ongoing. But an early result was the publication of my first book, Unspoken, in early 2020.
Through my book coach certification program and other coursework, I’ve learned about the value of creating a solid foundation for a story, those elements without which no amount of plot can keep a story upright. I call these things The Heartbeat of a Story.
Yes, it all takes effort and consistent practice. But it’s not just possible…
It’s totally worth it.
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A little more about me:
I live in Bellingham, WA with my husband, two emerging adults, two cats, and a dog who is as much of a challenge as he is adorable, on the ancestral homelands of the Coast Salish Peoples, Lummi Nation, and Nooksack Tribe, who have lived in the Salish Sea basin throughout the San Juan Islands and the North Cascades watershed from time immemorial. I’m a voracious reader, and I love taking walks, paddleboarding, swimming, genuine conversation, and afternoon naps.
Official bio:
Stephanie Dethlefs is a writer, writing coach, and teacher. Through her online community and personalized one-on-one coaching, Stephanie strives to help people with stories on their hearts get them out of their heads and onto the page with ease and self-compassion. She is the author of the middle grade novel Unspoken, and her stories, essays, and articles can be found in a number of publications including River Teeth, Tahoma Literary Review, Literary Mama, and Flash Fiction Magazine. She lives with her family in the Pacific Northwest. Find her on Substack at Living Revisions.
Kindness wins.
I believe in the power of story to impact both the person telling it and the people receiving it in a positive way. Stories are how we grow to understand each other better and in doing so create a more empathetic and compassionate world.
Toward this end, I support ALL writers, regardless of race, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, neurodiversity, nationality, how they live, who they love, or how they move their bodies through this world.